Having kids can bring immeasurable joy but sometimes, it seems like a hard chore to maintain the spark you have going with your husband especially after the kids, juggling your job, the household and every other thing ends up draining all your strength and you find out that the closeness and the intimacy between you and your husband is gone.
Yes, it sure has changed a lot between you and husband as there are other things to worry about ; like more bills, the finances – but you can still renew that spark, all you need is a little help.
Here ways below are sure to bring you closer to husband and give you all the closeness and happiness that you require.
Improve communication with your husband
Communication between you and your husband is an essential way of drawing him closer to you. First, you have to be a good listener to your husband; listen and make sure you understand what he trying to say to you, listen as he voices out his needs and do not guess or try to read his mind; this allows him to feel important, cared for, appreciated and understood.
Also, learn to communicate your needs to him, do not feel uncomfortable to bring up difficult topics, before you can communicate your needs make sure to analyze them; save important discussions for when you are face to face to your husband, show him that you are ready and committed to giving all your attention to him by not being distracted by your phone or the television.
Learn how to bring up discussions that are bothering you, speak up and make him understand. Communicating with your husband face to face helps you pick up little cue communicated through body language; eye movement, the tone of voice – which in turn helps you understand him better.
Do not be shy or embarrassed to discuss your sex life if you feel it dwindling down or nonexistent, talk about things you like sexually and new things you would like to try, this, in turn, can help build up your sexual intimacy. Setup a time to talk about the kids, finances and other family-related discussions, this makes this discussion not to take over other discussions and go on for days. After stressful discussions, doing a fun activity can cause relief – like going on a walk.
Bring in intimacy
Intimacy is simply making your husband feel understood, appreciated and accepted. Intimacy is not only about sex, it can be holding hands while discussing, cuddling while watching a movie or listening to music, curling close in bed, making eye contact and so many more.
Develop the habit of making out more, this is a faster way of feeling emotionally closer to your husband as kissing releases hormones that reduce stress and bring about sexy time. Learn to cuddle together with your husband maybe after putting your kids to bed, try affectionate, positive and encouraging words. Sometimes holding his hands while discussing financial and work issues can be very helpful. You can try seducing him with some sexy lingerie, fuss over him, flirt with him, steal kisses. Sex is also a very essential priority and does not make it seem like a chore, sex is good for you and your husband as it reduces stress and helps you feel closer.
Putting up a schedule for sex can also help on your road to being closer. Little loving gestures can also help your intimacy as they could lead to happy and emotional moments – things like love notes, an impromptu dinner, a full body massage can set up the right atmosphere for intimacy. Setting up a schedule for the kids, your work, the bills and other household things for a week can help create more time, help make your week less stressful and help you go through the week quickly and efficiently.
Do fun activities
Find fun activities to do with your husband and make sure to keep focus while enjoying these activities. Bring back old pastimes you did together while dating or courting – like if you always went out for movies, set aside time for movies – visit those special places again; re-indulge in all those things you did, dig up those happy memories with your husband and relive them. Try going out together without the kids and have fun together , you can accept babysitting help from family members, friends or pay for babysitters. You don’t necessarily need to go out to do fun activities together, you could play leisure games, tell jokes, remember embarrassing moments you’ve shared.
Praise and appreciate your husband
Focus on the things your husband does right and appreciate him for it. They do not have to be huge things, it could be helping in getting the groceries; fixing a spoilt fixture in the house and so on.
Try simple loving gestures, you can periodically surprise him to let him know that you are always thinking of him; like leaving loving notes in unexpected places for him to find, surprise him with an impromptu and special dinner after a long day.
Find out the things which your husband likes, things he thinks are special and do them unexpectedly for him ; it could be dressing sexy for him (wearing some clothes that he likes on you). Dish out compliments – how his new haircut looks, how good his clothes look on him, how good he is in his work activities.
Go for counseling
Often you might think that counseling is for spouses who are going through a crisis but counseling can be very beneficial to you and your husband. Counselling provides a safe and supportive atmosphere to identify and thrash your issues. The therapist is there to help analyze some issues going on between you and your husband; a therapist can also help break some habits that you have been trying to break; or have not noticed that can be harmful to your marriage.
Counselling also creates a positive environment to improve your communication skills; the therapist could help point out some things to be discussed between you and your husband. Make sure to approach counseling with a positive and realistic attitude.
Making all these endeavors will surely be recognized and appreciated by your husband. Do not expect anything overnight because it is sure a gradual process.